Metal Gear Rising SUCKS: The Debriefing

rising_sucks_solidkenny

With vengeful tool of justice in hand, the mysterious warrior “Solid Kenny” slices apart Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance in this epic article, which exposes the artificial insides of the gaming community’s gory little cyborg darling.  It doesn’t get any more brutal than “Metal Gear Rising Sucks”.

Not only that, but brace yourself for an unthinkable TWO HOUR VIDEO dissection of the smash hit, with knowledgeable commentary, behind-the-scenes research, and endless razor-sharp arguments for anyone who dares to defend Rising as a worthy entry in the Metal Gear franchise!  If you’ve never cared about the game before, you will after this.

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Theory on the Rising plot

Thanks to the retired Ravi Singh, I saw this teaser for a Metal Gear Rising announcement:

I didn’t bother to comment on it, but before the real announcement is made today, I want to toss out a theory.  April 30th is, of course, the day Jack and Rose met, as we were repeatedly reminded in Metal Gear Solid 2, and the tagline of “Make it right” at the end of the trailer makes me suspect that the plot will revolve around Rose being in danger.  Raiden and Rose reconcile at the end of Metal Gear Solid 4, so perhaps Rose is held hostage, and Raiden needs to fight the PMC’s in order to save her?  Perhaps too, his memory is altered in a test, and he needs to fight and kill in order to unlock his memory of Rose and find her so he can “make it right”?

Wild speculation, but we’ll see.

Metal Gear Rising: My wishes coming true!

The new Rising trailer is busy clogging up GameTrailers, and I have to say I am genuinely excited by it.

Why?  Because it seems that somebody was reading my Wish List, and decided to listen.

Just look at the list.

1. Change the name to Metal Gear Rising.  Check. (YES)

2.  Add PlayStation Move functionality.  Maybe, probably not.

3.  Climbing and big acrobatics.  Check.

4.  God of War style boss fights.  Check.

5.  Five new characters.  Getting there.

6.  A new Metal Gear end boss.  Probably.

My main concern was that the game was going to have a shred of dignity.  I don’t want that.  That’s why changing developers was a great move too.  I thought that would be asking too much, that’s why I didn’t put it on my list, but I applaud you Kojima Productions.

Metal Gear Rising always seemed to be flirting with the idea of being a Devil May Cry wannabe, and I’m glad they’ve boldly moved in that direction.  You can’t do a half-ass job of being “over-the-top”.  You either go all the way, or you don’t go at all.  I’m sure this new developer will have no shame making that happen.

“I think it’s time for Jack… To let ‘er rip!!”