I’ve decided to compile my greatest hopes for the upcoming console war in a handy list. It may be strangely specific in nature, but these are my hopes, so what do you expect? Allow me to dream! Each of my hopes includes a “best case scenario”, for that perfect storm setup…
Hey bitches, guess what? It’s over. Microsoft has officially won the console war, Sony is going bankrupt, so sell any shares you might have in SNE (Sony’s Corporation common stock,) because Kaz Hirai shit his pants in sheer terror this week after somebody mentioned Microsoft’s plan for a next-gen console. Can you say “doomed”?
Everybody and their grandma is buzzing about how retarded Kaz Hirai is this week, and it’s no surprise: all somebody had to do was ask him whether he had the balls to to announce the PS4 like a man — before Microsoft announces their console — and suddenly he turned into a trembling little pussy, saying that he’s too fucking petrified to say or do anything until he knows exactly what Microsoft is going to do first.
Ever seen the expression on a rabbit’s face when he’s cowering with heart racing at 400 beats per minute, frozen and wide eyed as the powerful, cunning fox prowls outside, looking for his prey, sniffing for he scent of fear? Because that’s what’s happening here. Microsoft is going to CHOMP Sony’s ass, and Kaz Hirai just admitted they have nothing that can possibly compete with the unbelievably amazing Microsoft Durango 720 Kinect. In fact this is the best commercial for a Microsoft product I’ve ever seen! And it’s good timing too, because the Surface Pro is getting slammed like your sister on my first date with her, and Windows 8 is sort of limping like a hunchback bitch right now. Thanks for the free advertisement, Kaz — now bend over and get ready for Round 2 of Sony getting raped by Microsoft!
Heh, hey know what I just wondered? Why do they call it MICRO SOFT when they’re so damn BIG AND HARD? LOL