Battlefield 3 now officially holds the honor of being the first videogame/piece of culture to make me feel old. It’s not because I don’t have the mental energy or reflexes to be competitive with today’s 13-year-olds; nor is it due to the astounding evolution of the series from those days of yore when I first enjoyed crashing my Corsair into low-polycount Nazis soldiers. Continue reading
[Note: I felt like these videos didn’t stay at the top of this site for long enough, so I’m making it sticky for now. Newer stuff is below it.]
It’s a three-part video, which for some reason uses a Veoh in the second part, but just make sure you watch it and enjoy. It’s by a Bulgarian dude or something, but I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched it. As far as I’m concerned there could be another 50 minutes of this.
This post is featured and sticky. New posts continue below.
Of course I haven’t been able to stop playing Deus Ex: Human Revolution for long enough to write a decent article here, but I do have time to complain about some small things that irritate me!
I’ve said this before, but shaking the camera is never a good idea — unless the character is being actively shaken, knocked around or hit — because the human body is sophisticated enough that it compensates for such movement automatically. When a person jogs, they don’t feel like they’re disoriented and unable to focus, so why should we feel that way in a first-person game? It’s bad enough that I really wish Eidos would patch the game and get rid of it; it only subtracts from the experience and the immersion.
Tiny minimap “upgrade”
The minimap, found in the bottom-left corner of the screen, is a decent size when you first start playing the game, and I was perfectly happy with it. In fact, I was so happy with it that decided to spend upgrade points on it so I could see more! Little did I know that the upgrade would simply condense more information into the same tiny square, making it nearly impossible to discern what’s actually going on! Instead of shrinking all the icons and making the minimap frustrating to use, the upgrade should have expanded the size of the minimap on the screen, which has plenty of room to spare. The HUD in this game is very sleek already, so it wouldn’t be a problem. Again, this is significant enough that I hope people complain and it gets patched.
Scarlett Johansson syndrome
Back in the day, it used to be impossible to make a female character look sexy. There just weren’t enough pixels and polygons to make it work. But now it looks like every female in Deus Ex is a sister of Scarlett Johansson, and that’s kind of lame. I mean, let’s be realistic, sexy people are only sexy because there are so many ugly people in the world; it’s a number’s game, and I believe that ugliness is a part of making a gritty dystopian future feel bad.
Or, if you’re going to pack the entire world full of supermodels anyway, at least try to acknowledge it somehow. Say that all the ugly people were killed as part of a eugenics movement or something. I know fat people are harder to animate and there’s a certain satisfaction to successfully creating an attractive model, but this is a bit over the top.
The game is great though, and I think it deserves praise for many different things, especially it’s story.
It has been revealed that the ‘2011 Konami SanDiego Comic-Com Cosplay Contest’ winner, pictured below, was using a deadly accomplice to weed out the competition — permanently.
Yes, while the disturbing crimes have yet to catch the attention of the media or the authorities, the exclusive SnakeSoup reports that this year’s “best in show” winner hired a fellow ninja to assassinate the competition with a single goal in mind: to capture the coveted Ga-Ko.
So while we know about the heinous plot, the identity of the “winner” remains illusive, hidden behind impenetrable face paint.
July 24, 2010: Kojima likes these costumes
In an apparent bid to stifle the neverending parade of Naked Snake/Big Boss cosplayers who’ve been clogging up the psychotic Metal Gear cosplaying scene for years, Kojima has given both 1st and 2nd place prizes to these folks:
See that broken-hearted Naked Snake in the background? Hmm, why don’t I remember Raiden having bare legs before? In any case, it was good enough to catch Kojima’s eye, so there you have it. [Source]
Is it possible that the ninja involved in this murder plot is somehow one of these two winners from last year as well? How long have these people been in secret cooperation? Just how deep does this mystery go? As the bodies continue to pile up, I fear that we will see them again next year…
Updated March 6, 2014: Added new section and improved some parts
This article deals with the controlled nature of the entertainment industry, pop culture, and the possibility of a conspiracy to turn gaming culture into a shallow, unhealthy and narrow-minded wasteland.
You know what’s surprisingly more difficult than analyzing specific areas of a particular video game franchise?
Writing a short article about real-world economics, politics and the cultural state of affairs in a way that’s accurate, balanced, interesting to read, and yet totally devoid of research and sources for factual information.
The article following contains adult language.